Updated: Jul 13
I am very excited about this blog entry because I get to share my top three love languages with you all. Before I begin, I would love to give credit to the one and only Dr. Gary Chapman, the mastermind behind the five love languages many of us know today. After counseling many married couples throughout the years, Dr. Chapman recognized a common theme amongst all couples: people receive and express their love differently.
That realization alone has encouraged couples to keep fighting for their marriage and to reconnect with their loved ones in a new way. What are these famous five love languages? They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. To find out your love language, you can simply take a short quiz on https://www.5lovelanguages.com/. Ready to find out what my top three love languages are? Keep reading!
After taking my quiz, I was far from surprised when reading my results. I learned that my primary love language is Words of Affirmation (32%). People who know me would agree with this 100%. I am one of those people who values words. When people sincerely speak life into me, express their love for me, and drown me in words of encouragement, I cherish those moments and hold on to them for as long as I am breathing. The flip side is that I also remember the absolute worst things that are said to or about me. I believe that words carry a significant amount of weight which is why I try my absolute best to speak nothing but joy and positivity into people’s lives. The bible tells us explicitly, “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:21. Although I hold on to words, that doesn’t mean that I don’t value action as well, because I still do. Many people say actions speak louder than words, which is true but it isn’t always the case for some people like me.
Remember how I just said, although Words of Affirmation is my number one love language, I still value action? Well, guess what my second highest love language is...Did you get it? If you guessed Acts of Service (23%), you are correct! I love people who think outside of themselves. People who display this trait genuinely inspire me to think beyond myself and push me to be more present for others. People who can lift the slightest burden off of my shoulders; I honor them. What I love about this love language is that it’s not always about grand gestures. Something as simple as saying, “I’ll drive” melts my heart because driving is a burden for me at times lol! There is nothing more unattractive to me than a man who lives a life of laziness. I love a man who takes initiative and takes pride in doing so. It shows that even if the task may inconvenience him but lightens his woman’s load, it’s worth it. I believe that to be selfless, which is why I also find it very attractive.
My third love language is….drumroll, please….. Physical Touch (20%). This love language doesn’t necessarily only mean sex, which is what I thought it meant when I first took the quiz. A nice warm hug, holding hands, or just leaning my head on someone classifies as physical touch. I am always hugging and kissing on my friends and family because I love them! That’s how I choose to receive and express my love for them. Out of all of the love languages, I’ve learned a lot from this one. Because I love physical touch and express my love in that form, I realized that some people simply don’t like physical touch. Although I lean more towards the extroverted side of the spectrum, I have a lot of introverted friends (which amazes me to this day). My sister, for example, does NOT like me kissing or hugging her. From our relationship, I learned that just because this is one of the many ways I prefer to receive and express love, it doesn’t mean that it’s the love language of the other people in my life, which is okay. Understanding how other people like to receive love is essential when developing and evolving in your relationships, which is something I’m learning every day.
Although I only wanted to highlight my top three love languages, I still want to briefly tell you my last two. Quality Time (17%) was fourth, and Receiving Gifts (3%) was last. I was shocked with quality time being one of my lowest languages because I came from a relationship where that’s all we did. We saw each other almost every day and found pleasure in just doing that. Because I have been single for quite some time now, I’ve come to realize I really value my personal space. If you read my previous blog entry “I’m Single...Now What?”, I did mention how much I appreciate my “me” time now because I don't have enough of it.
I am not surprised that receiving gifts was at the bottom of the chain for me. I’m not one to really put much emphasis on gifts or material things, which is why I make it a point to tell guys that not every girl’s primary love language is receiving gifts! I would much rather take honesty, love, patience, transparency, and great communication over receiving gifts because I value those intangible traits more. There’s also nothing I hate more than receiving a thoughtless gift or getting a gift because you “had” to (i.e., birthdays, Valentine’s day, anniversaries). I find it more meaningful when I receive a gift just because I was on your mind. Those are the gifts that make a difference in my life. I am not here for seasonal romance. I need that energy all year round.
Well, there it is folks, my love languages from highest to lowest, and I agree with the ranking 1000%. There is truly no lie in my results. I took the quiz in early January just to take it and took it again a few weeks ago to see if anything had changed and nothing has. I encourage you to take this quiz. It’s a lot of fun understanding what you value in your relationships. Lastly, this quiz is not meant to be the answer to all of your relationship problems but who knows? It sure can be! If you don’t mind sharing, I would love to hear about your results. Thanks for reading everyone. Be sure to like, comment, share, and subscribe (This is clearly not YouTube, but you get it lol). God bless!
(Love Language Quiz Results)