Guest Writer: Cashna D. Victor
Welcome, everyone! My name is Cashna D. Victor, and today I will focus on a topic that I’m sure everyone loves talking about, courting! More specifically, the beauty & benefits of Godly courtship. I have no doubt that many of us who were raised in a conservative-Christian home always imagined what it would be like when we finally find our spouse. I am not sure about others, but in my household, dating was forbidden, and if you mentioned the word “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” the adults gave you what I call the death stare.
My parents were like this because they did not want us dating just for the sake of dating. Of course, I didn't understand their reasoning, but now that I am older, I realize they wanted us to be mature enough to handle relationships for what they were and not how we may have perceived them. Trust me, relationships come with a lot. Sadly, some folks are in their late 20s and 30s, but still are not mature enough to court. That, however, can be another topic for a different day.
The question you should really be asking yourself is, “Do you know what you are looking for?” Do you know what the Lord wants for you?” You must ask yourself these questions because you'll just be dating and wasting your time or the other person’s time if you do not. Now, there is a difference between courting and dating. Christians court, while the world dates. Dating allows you to date multiple people at once without any intentions of getting married. However, when we’re courting, we know that our end goal is marriage. Therefore, if the courting season lasts two or three years, both of you should spend time in devotion and prayer, seeking direction for this union. I want every individual waiting to understand that God wants us to wait patiently because He will give you your heart’s desire and be with you every step of the way.
In our next point, let's dive into the importance of being equally yoked. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” In Joshua 24:15, Joshua made this statement when he reminded the people around him of his choice to serve the Lord. Being unequally yoked is dangerous, or the new saying is a “red flag.” When you are in a relationship, you want to be on the same page, especially regarding your spiritual walk with God. Equally yoked can also come into play in education, finances, maturity, etc. For the sake of time, we will be focusing on being equally yoked in a spiritual sense. In Genesis 24, Abraham asked his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac, but was adamant about her not being a Canaanite woman. Why was that? Well, many of the Canaanites served pagan gods and Abraham did not want that for his son. He wanted his son to be equally yoked spiritually, so that he would not miss out on the promises that God had for him.
I say this all the time; In marriage, you will have challenges (they come in many forms and directions), and that is when praying in one accord is important. If you do not stand together, then who will you cry to together? Will one be in the living room watching a movie while the other is in the master bedroom in prayer? I am telling you, it will not work. I encourage you to pray to God to send you a woman/man of God to spend the rest of your life with. I encourage you to read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, so you are able to really understand what God has to say about this.
We might find ourselves asking during this season whether waiting on God is really worth it. That’s alright if you do; we all do now and then. For those of you that spend time in the kitchen, have you ever cooked undercooked meals? As I am writing, God is literally showing me this. Nothing grosses me out the most than seeing or eating undercooked meat. I need my steak well done! For example, I do not need to see blood oozing out of my chicken. It’s hard and chewy-Yuck! You can run the risk of stomach poisoning and other bacterial infections, if you consume undercooked meat. Let's look deeper into why one's meat would be undercooked.
A common reason would be that we just couldn't wait the proper time for the meat to be fully cooked at the right temperature. It is the same when you’re waiting on the Lord to send you who He has for you. When it’s an ordained relationship, you’re going to face persecution without a doubt. But do not be afraid or alarmed. While you’re waiting now, continue to seek God and remain in consecration. God will give you the necessary tools and strategies to combat the adversary when you get in the relationship. Trust me, speaking from experience, it’s worth the wait.
As you're reading this, are you one of those people going to God and saying, “I’ve been waiting for so long. When God? When?” My advice to you, those who are single, and those who are currently courting, is to continue being patient. It may seem so trivial, but it's crucial to being in a relationship that God has ordained. While waiting, get yourself together. Clean up not only physically but spiritually as well. Remove unnecessary baggage (another topic for another day-stay tuned) and take care of yourself. Establish a routine when it comes to prayer and devotion. Use this time to work for the Kingdom of God and involve yourself in a ministry, if you have not done so already.
Don’t be afraid to surround yourself with people who are in healthy marriages because you’ll get the opportunity to observe good habits that you want to incorporate in your marriage. But, most of all, be patient and wait on the Lord! I encourage you to meditate over Proverbs 16:9 and Psalm 27: 13-14 for uplifting words from the Lord. Remember, It is better to wait on Him than to make the worst mistake of your life. Your children deserve better. You deserve better.
Praying for You While You Wait.
Cashna D. Victor