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I'm Single...Now What?

You may be wondering, “Now that you’re single, what in the world are you doing with your life?” Like I said in my previous blog about my singleness journey, I went from spending every day with someone to spending every day alone. If I’m being honest, adjusting to singleness was not easy.


I had to get to know who Alexandra was all over again without this person in my life, which was incredibly difficult. Surprisingly, it truly became an eye-opening experience. I say this because I learned so much after my breakup and love what God has done in my singleness journey. He brought me from the lowest of lows, a place of anger and resentment to a place of pure joy and gratitude.


The number one thing that I did as a single woman was love on my best friend, Christina, again. Re-establishing my love and commitment to our friendship was necessary in my journey. When I was dating my ex, I was with him ALL THE TIME. I didn’t realize how much time I spent with him until I stepped away from the relationship and was forced to take a good look around me. Looking back, I can say that I was a very absent friend to her. People who know Christina and I may think, “That can’t be true because you guys are always together!”. Yes, that’s true, but that’s not what I mean when I use the word “absent.” Of course, I was with my best friend all the time PHYSICALLY, but emotionally and spiritually, I was unavailable. Without realizing it, I had neglected her. There were times when I even disappointed her, which breaks my heart just thinking about it. Regardless of who I was and what I did in the past, my best friend is still present in everything that I do. I thank God for her and her gracious heart because we are still in each other’s lives and closer than ever before. I don’t even know why I call her my best friend, because she is so much more than that. She is my sister.


After running back to God and redefining my relationships with others, I finally started dating myself! As silly as that sounds, I needed to understand who I was and what I stood for as a Christian, woman, Haitian American, and more. Something that I learned from dating myself is that I genuinely love being by myself. Before I continue, let me make something clear. Although I do love spending time alone, that doesn’t mean I don’t desire marriage, love, and a lifelong commitment. I still hope for all of those things and more but what I learned is that I don’t NEED a man to tell me that he loves me to feel loved. I don’t need a man to be around to feel secure in who I am, and I certainly don’t need others defining what my season of singleness should look like according to their standards. The bottom line is that I am happy with where God has placed me in my life, representing not only Him but myself.


Most importantly, I learned to dream again. I learned to dream and hope for bigger things in my life. Flourish is a living example of me doing something I never thought I would or could do, and again God showed me that all things are possible with him. I am also working so hard to get a white coat with my name on it, finally becoming the physician that I want to see in the world. I don’t desire to become a physician to simply “help people,” which undoubtedly is a huge part of the job, but I want to become a physician that makes a difference in medicine, makes a difference in my family, and makes a difference in my community.

Today, although minorities have become more than half of the U.S. population, we are still underrepresented in medicine. As a Haitian American WOMAN, it is important that I make it. It is vital that I represent the underrepresented. It is critical that I become the voice for the voiceless. A physician is not defined by the number of diseases they can heal but defined by the deep passion that resides within them to transform lives, and that is what I dream to do.


Well, this is what I am up to in a nutshell. I am just a girl chasing her dreams and making life-long memories along the way. If you’re single and you don’t know what to do with all of this free time, I suggest that you put yourself first again. Find something that makes you happy and makes you smile. “Flourish” is my new happy place, and I pray that God grants you something just as big, if not bigger, that leaves you smiling each and every day. God bless & dream big!

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