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Trusting God is Hard.

Welcome back everyone! I know it’s been a while since I’ve written an entry but I am back and ready to talk to you all about the most faithful person in the whole world: God. After writing my last blog entry about my best friend, I wasn’t entirely sure what I should write about next. I guess you could say I had developed writer’s block in the midst of balancing school, ministry, and life in general. It wasn't until I was walking on campus one day that the holy spirit spoke to my heart and said, write about trusting God. Once I received that word, I knew that’s what I had to write about because somebody needed to be reminded of God’s faithfulness in their life. Who knows, maybe that somebody could be me.

Let me be the first to say that trusting God is not effortless. Do not get me wrong, this is definitely easier said than done. Just because I believe in God doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle in our relationship when it comes to trusting Him fully. For me, trusting God can be a struggle for a few reasons. One, I cannot see this person that I am trusting in. If I’m being honest, I think that’s why many of us Christians struggle to truly trust God at times. We live in a world that is constantly telling us that “seeing is believing,” whereas it’s the opposite for Christians. For us Christians, we are encouraged daily to believe in order to see, and Jesus tells us that there are blessings in doing so (John 20:29). Another reason why I find it difficult to trust God at times is because I am such a control freak. I love to have control over everything, even over the things I know I have no way of controlling. Now that I think about it, what I am actually doing is essentially telling God, “You don’t have this under control. Let me help you”. I have some nerve, right? Although that is far from my intention, that’s what it may very well look like in the eyes of God.

We even see this attitude in the bible with Abraham and Sarah. God promises them a child in their old age but they took matters into their own hands (Genesis 15-18). It seems as though Abraham got impatient with God and decided to help God speed up the process, or should I say speed up the promise. Abraham immaturely listened to his wife Sarah when she said, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abraham agreed to what Sarah said (Genesis 16:2). Many of you may or may not know the story but this is how Hagar, the slave, and Ishmael, Abraham’s first son, came into the picture.

Now that we know that Abraham slept with Hagar and was expecting a child, all outside of God’s promise, how do you think Sarah felt? The bible tells us that Sarah despised Hagar. Even though Sarah was the one who advised Abraham to sleep with Hagar, she was so jealous that Hagar could give Abraham something she simply could not, a son. Sarah mistreated Hagar so much that Hagar was forced to flee from Sarah (Genesis 16:6). What can we learn from Sarah and Abraham based on what we know so far? Personally, I realized that when we don’t trust God to do what He says He’s going to do, we are more prone to make hasty decisions out of uncertainty, anxiety, and impatience.

Abraham sleeping with Hagar was a hasty decision. In that particular moment, it seemed as though both Abraham and Sarah had forgotten what God had promised them, a child. When Abraham agreed to sleep with Hagar, he operated in his way and not in God’s promise. I am not ashamed to say that sometimes I can be like Abraham. There was a time that God showed me a promise and because I felt as though the promise was nearly impossible, I thought that I could “help” God by doing what I believe made sense at the time. Like Abraham, I started to operate in ways I thought would speed up the promise. When I did that, nothing seemed to work in my favor. I became more irritated, anxious, impatient, and hopeless because nothing was working.

After experiencing those emotions, I decided to trust God with what He said He would do. I stepped down from the position that was rightfully His. I kid you not, the moment I did that, God began to show me His hand and I started to see the promise unfold. God only required one thing of me and that was to choose to fully trust in Him. That was another concept I had to understand; trusting God is a choice. I was reading another blog that said trusting in God is transferring our dependence from ourselves to God. The moment I chose trust over control, it’s like God was telling me, “I never lied to you. I just wanted you to allow me to work.” Now, I am watching God work as I sit in awe of His faithfulness. None of the glory is for me, but all for Him.

In Genesis 18:10, God says to Abraham, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah, your wife shall have a son.” This verse alone shows not only God’s faithfulness but also His grace. Let us remember that God never told Abraham to sleep with Hagar. That was all Abraham and Sarah’s approach. Despite them taking control instead of waiting on the promise, God still blessed Abraham and Sarah with a son we all know as Isaac, the initial promise. Isaac resulted from Abraham and Sarah waiting on God and expecting Him to do what He said He would do. They choose trust instead of control.

Again, trusting God is not always easy but this story from the Bible teaches us that it is not impossible. In fact, when Sarah was eavesdropping into God’s conservation with Abraham, the bible said Sarah laughed. Her laughter was out of skepticism and disbelief. God’s response, or should I say question to Sarah’s laughter, was “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”. God’s question was a rhetorical one because God knows that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Today I want to encourage you to do the same as Sarah and Abraham. To trust God in whatever you’re going through. Let go and let God reign above it all. Allow Him to show you the kind of God He really is because He is a big one, which means you can expect bigger and greater from Him. May God bless you, and may your expectations be exceeded in Jesus’ name.

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